Kauai trip

So, at the start of the second full day here in Kauai I’ve learned a couple of things;

You don’t get anywhere fast

There are copious amounts of chickens (and they're noisy)

I hyperventilate when I snorkel

Beach sand gets in all your business no matter how hard you try to avoid it

They don’t have dollar drinks at McDonalds

I nearly crashed the car twice from not watching the road and letting my eyes wander too much.

So, when we got here we were picked up by a hired car and driven, in the dark, for about 40 minutes, to the townhouse we’re staying at. It rained off and on all the way here. But when we actually got to the town house the heavens just opened up on us and it really poured.

The owners of the town house left us with use of their vehicle, which is such a blessing, but when I went down to the garage to start it the battery was dead. So, I ventured out to try to find someone with jumper cable who could help me start it. I went door to door for a couple of minutes, in the pouring rain, but got nothing. So, I went to one last door.

Weird mistake.

Notice I didn’t say “big mistake”, because it wasn’t really a mistake, it was just weird. A guy comes to the door and I let him know my situation. With a tongue slowed by molasses or methamphetamine, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his keys and says, “just take my car man.” I was clearly unprepared for that as an outcome so I stood there for a couple of seconds sort of dumbstruck. He must have picked up on that so he countered his own offer by saying, “I’ll just drive you”. I wasn’t prepared for that invitation either.

So, he went in and made some tea and came back out and we hopped into his newer Nissan Altima. Now, the distance to the store is actually quite short – perhaps ½ a mile tops. I introduced myself and he returned the greeting. His name was Joe. What happened next will rank as the weirdest conversation I have ever had with another human being. I commented that the thunder clap we’d just heard earlier that night was the loudest I’d ever heard in my life. That must have been code for him to unleash the weird hounds. In short we talked, well, he talked, I nodded up and down with my mouth wide open. But we talked about how the US government can harness electricity from thunder and that we’re all made of clay and that left-over male and female reproductive material could support life like it does for alien populations since our genealogy is alien.

This was the ½ mile drive TO the store. The return trip was about how we are full of trace minerals including lithium and that the government wants us to eat more lithium but that lithium can be found in the shape of subterranean Christmas trees and that lightening makes a different sound whether it is hitting something soft or hard.

When we got back he asked me if I wanted some bananas and I said sure. I waited by the door and he gave me 4 bananas, a red onion and a yam. Seriously. With yam in hand he said ,”Do you like hot chocolate?” I said sure and he disappeared for a minute and came back with about 20 packages of Swiss Miss hot chocolate.

I thanked him profusely for his kindness to a complete stranger to which he said he was just looking for someone to help to cover up wrongs he did in new Jersey.

May not sound strange on the surface, but I haven’t told you the half of what we talked about in the car on the way to and from the store. It was like a Russian roulette of subject matter ranging from what to do with excess seminal fluid to our alien genealogy.

It was THE weirdest experience of my life!

Next morning a backed the car out of the garage and after trying for about half an hour was able to flag someone down who had jumper cables. It was an effusively nice older Hawai’ian lady that hooked up her cables to my car and helped me get it going. Took like 20 minutes for it to start but it ran great thereafter.

Plan was to not risk anything and with so few people here having jumper cables, to drive down to the walmart in Lihue and get a new battery. I almost crashed twice on the way there just from not paying attention to the road. Didn’t realize Walmart is so far away. I mean the island is only like 20 miles across it seems but with a mix of 25 to 35 mile per hour zones it takes a long time to get anywhere. Essentially I drove what seemed like forever to get to the walmart, got some goods then drove forever back to the house. Once back we packed up the car and took off again – back towards the walmart. It’s been on again off again rain here and we understand the south part of the island to be less rainy so we opted to go to Poipu bay to swim then drive the distance to Waimea canyon.

Got to Poipu and found a nice little spot to lay. I dipped my feet in the water and thought, “there’s no way I’m gettin’ in that!” But my sense of adventure (right) took over and I got in with mask and snorkel. It was so cold I was hyperventilating trying to breath through that little tube. Plus, I’ve got a massive cold and had a runny nose all day long. I kept having to clear my mask of water by blowing out through my nose. But all that did was remove the water and replace it with snot.

Don’t know what is worse – drowning in seawater or drowning your own snot.

Somehow I managed to stay out there for about a half hour before I got too cold. There were some amazing fish to see. Sophie got to boogie board with Anneka. All in all it was a blast. We were only there about an hour and half and then decided to drive the distance to Waimea canyon.

We bought some Hawai'ian shave ice when we left the beach. Totally yummy, just not made for eating in a car. I could eat shaved ice for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They're so good. Crazy thing is it's just ice and flavoring. Maybe there's magic in how they make it. Whatever it is, real Hawai'ian shave ice is delish!

So, Waimea canyon is like the grand canyon of the Hawai'ian islands. The drive was a winding cobra wonderland and when we got to the top the views were amazing and well worth the drive. We went all the way to the top to an overlook of the NaPali coast some 4000 feet below us. It was foggy, cold and windy at the top. But the views were stunning. Took us two hours plus, to drive home.

At the Waimea canyon lookout

















































































































All things considered it was an amazing start to the trip. This cold I’m fighting is the worst I think I’ve ever had, but I keep pounding the meds and it seems to help just enough to help me get through each day.

Today were’ going to dink around in Hanalei just a couple of miles down the road. It’s a mix of sun and clouds but the air temperatures are ideal.


More later